I forgot about the first star
You know how every now and then you realise that you’ve carried a thought or idea of the world with you from when you were younger, without any analysis, to your present grown up self. I love it when this happens, you feel simple and innocent, like a daisy swaying in the wind; I think that in contrast to the frequently wilted, anxious and overly analytical daisies that we find ourselves to be, that these moments of total mindless thought are quite lovely. If I’ve kind of gone into the daisy metaphor too much too soon in my story, I’ll bring in the context and hopefully make more sense.
The winter just gone while being perfectly lovely in lots of ways, was also and mostly, really hard and arduous for me. I think for the collective two waking hours that I wasn’t thinking about my business each day, were instead filled with either thinking of the cold; sourdough toast; preferred spreads for sourdough toast; the social life that I was missing out on because of my commitment to my business (and probably toast); or, the fear of what state my cozy winter bod would be in by the time a hot summer bod would be required and what effect all of those yeasty artisanal baked loaves would have on this future ideal.
I am completely happy to have put as much effort and thought into my business each day as I did and do, it’s my favourite thing to think about and my favourite thing to do. But, in retrospect I do feel bad for not leaving any time outside of this each day for thought niceties. I’m sure in actuality, I thought about more than the points listed above, but it felt like looking back on the season that those were my main concerns – what I’m saying is that I don’t remember thinking about anything optimistically, or sweetly or with the intention of simple appreciation.
So in the last week of Winter, my mind was pretty clogged up as I went for a twilight walk near my home. The air was crisp but hinted at the promise of warmer and longer days. I was trying to clear said clogged mind, but it wasn’t working terribly well, when I had one of my beloved moments. While enjoying the peachy pink tones of last light that met the indigo horizon, I spotted the first star of the night. I got excited in a way where I wished someone was there for me to alert, that I had in fact spotted the first star, it made me feel clever. I cannot believe that I had brought this little excitement and source of pride with me from when I heard the ‘first star’ poem when I was probably six or seven. I laughed and questioned how my mind could be consumed by all of these big, stressful thoughts about business and current state and comparative concoctions and have it all slip away for a moment to pat myself on the back and gasp (GASP) at the first star of the night. It happens every single night; there’s a first star, others join as the night nears, then the first star is lost in all the other stars and doesn’t really mean a whole lot at all. But it made me stop, appreciate and feel good.
In no attempt to appear as though my problems are drowned out by whimsy or butterflies, this moment did feel very pivotal to my late August mindset. I don’t think that I had cared for or spotted the first star for a very long time; I hadn’t been looking for small thought niceties, which when you look around, we often have an abundance of stimulus for. Going forward into Spring, I remembered this periodically forgotten awareness and I remembered the first star.
I painted this collection with subtle reminders of what I found to be minor yet distinctly enjoyable notions at the time and of course, with my feminine focus in mind.
Whether it was a title like pistachio praline party -- which makes me feel alive just reading, or seeing the figures move freely among one another. The glowing fluorescent pink and elegant display of fruit in lemon delicious, emboldened me, excited me and quite honestly led me to appreciate-- fresh produce is a gift, people. The brighter tones in september spritz and maraschino mood were welcome delights after a winter of trying to create with a greater maturity in mind. I remember seeing a picture of a party in a park, where each guest wore a party hat and sat in a circle and it made me think of the beauty of unnecessary and simultaneously very great things; this inspired pass the parcel. While hold my feet, babe 02 joined this collection as a steadying force of richness, self and contentment. This specific piece adheres to a theme with a slightly larger story but felt equally welcome in I forgot about the first star; perhaps the sweetest thought of all, that you’ve got yourself and you are your greatest support.
I hope this collection can encourage the nicest, most whimsical thoughts in you and that we can all, not only notice but seek out the little slivers of charm.
View the collection here.